Why Am I So Indecisive? 10 Methods That Can Help You Make Decisions

You’re a people pleaser

Do you constantly worry about what others think?

If you’re a people pleaser, you may find yourself continuously struggling internally between choice A (what you want) and choice B (what others want).

You’ve lost sight of the bigger picture

This goes back to focusing on what matters. Many people get lost in the details and can become overwhelmed.

Most people strive for some kind of goal, whether professionally, spiritually, or mentally. However, when one begins to lose sight of these goals, they often start to lose sight of how they’ll get to the goals as well, leaving them feeling lost and confused when it comes time to decide which direction they should take.

You lack confidence

Self-confidence is a key component of decision making.

Perhaps someone does know which direction they should move toward to achieve their goals, yet if they’re insecure, they may be able to choose the decision that’s right for them but struggle with sticking to it. Self-doubt and a lack of confidence could even mean they procrastinate.

You lack proper knowledge of the subject

This is less internal and more due to circumstances.

Some people may have the confidence and skills to make solid decisions promptly. If this is the case, the problem could lie in the fact that a person simply does not have enough information on the subject they need to decide on.

You have aboulomania

This is a diagnosable mental disorder.

Aboulomania is when a person shows signs of pathological indecisiveness. While most people will be indecisive at some point, people with aboulomania are indecisive to the point where it is an obsession and severely affects their daily lives.

A symptom of other mental health conditions

Indecisiveness can be a symptom of mental health conditions. In fact, indecisiveness is a prevalent symptom of major depressive disorder.

People with ADHD also experience difficulty making decisions due to factors, such as inattention, memory problems, and distractibility.

Other mental health conditions in which indecisiveness can be a symptom are:

• anxiety
• dependent personality disorder
• childhood trauma
• Alzheimer’s disease.
  

  Here are 10 methods to try that may help you become more decisive.

  Make decisions for yourself

  Asking 10 people about one topic will only confuse you further. Ultimately, if you trust your intuition, you will know what the right decision is.

  Nobody can give you the correct answers on what’s best for you besides yourself, try not to allow others to be the decider between you and your goals.

  Develop your confidence

  When you make a choice, trust your intuition that it’s the right decision for yourself.

  Avoid second-guessing. If you have the confidence to trust yourself, you’ll find making and sticking to decisions much easier.

  Let things go

  The fear that comes with worrying about making the “wrong” decisions can be paralyzing.

  Try not to worry about mistakes — they’re a part of life. Once you accept that things are not always in your control, making decisions will be much less threatening.

  Choose one person that can act as a sounding board

  There will be instances when you’re truly stumped.

  When feeling stuck, ask a supportive friend or partner to weigh in.

  Talk it out

  The simple act of speaking out loud will help alleviate indecision and internal conflict.

  If it feels right, voice your thoughts out loud to a friend or partner. Decisions can become less confusing and worrisome when we voice our fears and choices out loud.

  Narrow it down

  If you’re facing a variety of options, take a practical approach.

  Narrow down your selections to three options with a ‘surgical slice.’ Don’t question yourself. Then evaluate the final three options and pick one.

  Outline the pros and cons

  If you get stuck, draft a simple pro-con list. But the important thing to remember is to write it down. Mentally weighing the pros and cons is simply adding to the indecisiveness.

  Pro-con lists facilitate objective and sound decision making.

  Flip a coin

  Of course, this method shouldn’t be used for big decisions, such as marriage. But this will work if it’s something as simple as what to order on the menu.

  This simple trick (which I use often) makes the decision for you. And, there are times when your gut knows what it truly wants when the coin lands the ‘wrong’ way.

  What’s interesting about flipping a coin is that your reaction will actually reveal what you truly want.

  Avoid questioning your final decision

  Once you’ve made the decision, avoid second-guessing yourself.

  Simply embrace your selection and move forward.

  Recognize and celebrate your decisions

  Congratulate yourself for every decision you make.

  Practice a kind, validating affirmation. For example, you might say, ‘I made a great decision. I’m getting better at making choices! This feels good!’ If a negative voice tries to step in to create self-doubt, simply repeat your kind, validating words.